Education Jobs

Guidance Counselor

Must be able to administer the official "what you should be when you grow up based on these 25 questions" computer exam. You are not responsible for interpreting the results.
If you so choose to interpret the results, we are not responsible for helping you explain why the class clown or the smelly kid with a D average scored the most likely to become an astronaut.
Must not be able to make any significant progress in assisting students with personal issues.
Must not give any worthwhile advice regarding a student's further education. You are permitted to encourage furthering education, but don't try to do anything else.
If any student forces you claiming their college of choice requires bla bla bla, just say you filled it out but just throw the empty form in your trash.
Must be ok with parents calling in and blaming you for their child's terrible experience with bullies.
Must be able to "council" bullies, but this in no way, shape, or form should result in a reduction in the bully's reign of terror on the students. We need to keep these kids in line somehow.
Must be a product of a socially awkward upbringing.
Must be unapproachable.